I hope, that if it's cold where you are today, that you are staying safe and warm.
Yesterday, I got to talk to an old friend, though briefly. I met him 6 years ago, a friend of a boyfriend at the time. They lived in a different country but I managed to visit them on 3 seperate occasions. I lost touch with the boyfriend (now an ex, of course), but talked for a bit longer with this new 'friend' of mine. Then, as does happen so frequently, our own lives got busy and we haven't been able to talk very often at all. So, when he was online yesterday, I was so overjoyed! I was overwhelmed with how much I missed him, so much that I couldn't even believe what I was feeling! What a strong reaction! When I thought about it after, I think my emotions were not just towards him, but also that whole time period in my life. We seemed so much younger then, so much free-er, so many less heart aches had been experiences then. We used to sit around, drinking wine and enjoying cake and joking around about life. I miss that time in my life.
Right now I'm so stuck in a rut of looking backwards, and thinking about all of the things that I miss. The snow, and this time of year, has me back into my sorrow over missing my ex, as this was the time of year that we first met. It's hard, because the whole of me knows that what I'm doing to myself is doing me no good- that I should be looking forward, not back, that I should be finding lessons in the past and using that to fuel me into creating a better future for myself. I'm sure that is what is to come- lessons, knowledge, a drive towards a better 'me'. Hopefully I can take the best of the past and put some of that into my future, knowing what makes me happy.
Life is made up of so many endings and beginnings, and they also seem to overlap and intertwine in each other.
Sometimes I wonder, if people come back, does it mean that the lesson hasn't been learn yet? Or does it mean that some of the blocks that kept you apart in the first place have been removed? Hmmm...