Tis' the season to be jolly and joyous! I realize that the holiday season is not the best time of year for everyone, but to me it is my favourite. In particular I love Christmas Eve. It's not the materialistic side of Christmas that I love either-- it's the feeling in the air. I love the enchantment....love.... harmony...peace...overwhelming warm n fuzzies!! :) The music...the twinklin lights...being able to spend time with family--- love love love!
So, I do wish that you and yours can be Blessed with time together, that you get some time away from the hustle bustle of life and work.... and that as you are standing in line at a store to buy lots of presents...to remember those who are less fortunate...
It is such a season for reflection as well, with the end of a year and the beginning of the new one...so many wishes and dreams and expectations...perhaps fears as well as anticipations...

It is a good time to give thanks for the year that has passed and the blessings that are to come.

For those who are travelling-- I wish for you safe travels..let angels guide you.

Sending love and light to you all....
uncond

how can you be so cruel
and say I'm everything you were looking for
everything you could ask for
everything you wanted
and more.
and then change your mind
like it never meant anything
like I was nothing
like you don't respect me
and you dont' value me
and your heart is not breaking
like mine is
into a tiny pieces
that have been glued together before
so many band aids
lead to sad days
and insecurities
and its hard to believe
what anyone says
I want to hear the words
I love you
I want you
you're the best
but do I believe them?
when someone can change their mind
at the drop of a hat
making me feel on top of the world one day
and then crush beneath it the next
my tear stained cheeks
can not erase
the memories that haunt me
the pain the cuts through me
the pounding disbelief in my chest
that I have to give up
on you and me
that I have to give up
on fairy tales
that I have to give up
believing that a miracle could save us.
trying to decide
if its you
if its me
or if its both and not meant to be
I never wanted to be the one
to be the bridge to your
next true love
thats supposed to be me
why couldn't you see that
why couldnt you see yourself
as I did
why couldn't you see
that I would have never given up on you
that I'm not her
that life could be so brilliant
if you'd only let it be
now I love you
and I hate you
in the same breath
so confused, frustrated, and disapointed
do you know how much I hurt?
is that why you're quiet
why you dont' talk
why you dont' write
except to say maybe one line
to talk to me like I am a business transaction
a stranger
a bus driver
the taxi driver
a nobody, a passerby
instead of the person who loved you
and that you were so afraid to love back
I'm a good person
I don't understand you
even though I try
I can't see the truth
or what is lies
or denials
of what was, what is, and what could have been.
who knows.
how could you be so cruel
and then say we should be friends
but not even treat me like a friend
and I am here all alone
with a black void in my heart
where the hope was
and the breeze blows through it
and cuts me so deep
that I can't even breathe
or see through my tears
And it pisses me off
that you probably never shed one tear
for me
while I could cry rivers for you
why am I so cruel to me
to let you make me feel this way
to let one person allow me to feel so broken
to let one person decide my happiness
I wanna scream
and shake you
and make you see inside of me
everything from beginning to end
what you had, what you missed out
and what a part of me has died for.
And I feel so stupid.
Because I miss you so much.

I found some posts on facebook today that I can really relate to. I am going to share them with you here....

I do not define myself by how many roadblocks have appeared in my path.
I define myself by the courage I’ve found to forge new roads.
I do not define myself by how many disappointments I’ve faced.
I define myself by the forgiveness and the faith I have found to begin again.
I do not define myself by how long a relationship lasted.
... I define myself by how much I have loved, and been willing to love again.
I do not define myself by how many times I have been knocked down.
I define myself by how many times I have struggled to my feet.
I am not my pain.
I am not my past.
I am that which has emerged from the fire.
♥
Unkown~.

and....

  All the years you have waited for them to
“make it up to you” and all the energy you
expended trying to make them change
[or make them pay] kept the old wounds
from healing and gave pain from the past free
... rein to shape and even damage your life.
And still they may not have changed. Nothing
you have done has made them change. Indeed,
they may never change. Inner peace is found by
changing yourself, not the people who hurt you.
And you change yourself for yourself, for the joy,
serenity, peace of mind, understanding, compassion,
laughter, and bright future that you get.

|Lewis Smedes|
~Ross.

Change is definately in the air-- from the leaves changing into a bouquet of reds, oranges, yellows, and green that eventually make their dance to the ground to the chill in the air-- change is here whether we like it or not. There are a lot of changes in life too... we are lifelong learners no matter what possession or place in life, and as such variety is the spice of life, right? But sometimes we fight it...we resist change..we're afraid of it...instead of going with the flow, we dig in our heals--it may be something that is incredibly good for our souls or our bodies and yet we fight it.  Change is scary, yes, but sometimes alltogether necessary for our growth and movement through life. Wouldn't it be better to go into it empowered, as prepared as we can with our faith that everything WILL work out okay eventually (even if we can't see the hidden blessings at the time), and take the leaps of faith that may be necessary for change to occur? Now is as good a time as any to truly shed the old layers of ourselves-- the world needs the new and improved you!!! Release the past, let go of your tattered and torn ideas of what should and could have been, and find yourself in the present moment--- healed, inspired, engaged, empowered, ready, and willing. Let go of that which no longer brings you joy and no longer serves your true purpose here. Fill your space up with positive energy to the best of your abilities, no matter where you go or where you are led.... Ask for help along the way and trust that everything truly is unfolding as it is meant to. The really crappy part about resisting is change is that sometimes (usually?) it just goes on right ahead without us, and then it becomes uncomfortable, and super scary, heart breaking even. So, I'm going to go about my merry way.... accepting...acknowledging..releasing...healing... taking little leaps of faith and try my best to gloriously and whole heartedly embrace the changes that I have made and the changes that are on their way. Life is good... Life IS beautiful .It truly is about love...loving ourselves...loving others...loving life... the rest is merely details.

Namaste.

I seen these words the other day: "I Am In the Presence of Love" and it became like a repeated tape recorder in my head.

I Am in the Presence of Love.
It feels so good just to think it!
Then I moved on to
I AM the Presence of Love.
It is time to be the Presence of Love in my own life and to do my best to be the Presence of Love in all of my interactions with other people. Am I being kind to others? Am I releasing judgements and jealousy? Am I being compassionate in my thoughts and action? Am I expressing my true thoughts in a loving way? Am I being irritable and irritated with others, and if so, why? These are questions to ask myself throughout the day. I'm definately no where near perfect and I dont' claim to be! But I am learning and I am trying to be very conscious of what I say and to start taking steps in my life to transform my life into as fearless and love filled as possible! :)

More and more signs keep showing up about taking better care of my physical self~ getting more exercise, drinking more water, eating more fruits and vegetables, having some portion control over what I eat, etc.. It seems like each day there is another reminder saying 'NOW is the time to finally take control over this aspect of my life". That is part of why I started my new facebook page "Divine Health and Healing."

At first I wanted it to serve as a support group for weight loss but then it took on a bit of a broader scope. I know that healing in all forms, no matter what it is that needs to be healed- begins with LOVE. Self love is so important, as well as breaking down the walls that we build around us. I agree with Louise Hay's work that says that our physical illness is a physical manifestation of dis-ease within us. So, this facebook group and this journey is very much about transformation; about blossoming into the butterfly and releasing the fears of opening the wings to fly!! :)

I Am The Presence of Love in my Life.
I people realized the love and joy within themselves and connected with their spirit--- rather than always seeking these things outside of themselves, then the world would be such a more peaceful place. We are such a fear based society that even so many lightworkers waver in their trust of the Divine, depending on their moods.

Each day is a journey towards embracing my Life and the LOVE that is within me that I need to give to myself. I am learning to love all of me and all of my experiences. I am learning to let go of old patterns and beliefs that are no longer serving me at this point in my life. :)

Dear God give me the strength and motivation to take the proper steps towards embracing Divine Health and Healing into my own life. Help me also to feel fearless and free! I also pray for help with releasing any fears about expressing my TRUE Divine Self to everyone I know. I release fears about being judged by others.

Thank you for listening.
Namaste.