Today is for cleaning!! A lot of organizing and throwing stuff away is going on at my place. Now, I'm taking a break and it feels great!!! When we remove the clutter in our 'physical space' it almost feels like we shed layers on our spiritual self. :) The job isn't done yet, but I'm happy with the progress. Sometimes the draining busy-ness of work and working on the road gets in the way of me maintaining a really clean living space, SO its awesome when I actually have the time to regroup my energy and put it to good use here. :)

It's cooler today, but the energy still feels good. Today is like an un-anniversary for me, meaning it would have been my anniversary today if I were still with my ex. So, a bit sad, but I'm trying to not let it get me down. So much can happen in a year! Oh my goodness! Then we stop for a second and go, 'what the heck happened???'. At least I have wonderful memories to warm my heart, if not warm arms to wrap around me.

Hey Hey,
Christmas in less than a month!! Of course, its also American Thanksgiving this weekend. This is, as the song says "the most wonderful time of the year!" Time for family, time for thanks, time for giving and receiving, time for reminiscing and reflecting, as well as looking ahead. I remember watching a tv show once in which a character lemented that if you can look back (in this case upon the past year) and either shed tears of joy, or of saddness, then you know it was worth your while- because you felt, you lived. This sounds like a conversation for closer to New Years, but the holidays seem to be on peoples minds more and more with each day so, I thought I'd bring it up. At any rate, I hope you are all grateful no matter what time of year or what season, that you can find that balance of giving and receiving, and that you have people in your life to share both the special and ordinary moments of life with. :)

This week has been a good one! I've heard from people whom I thought may be left within the past, have felt some of the stress I've been carying around lift off of my shoulders and my heart, and today was very productive! I had the day off of work, but I rarely get a week day off so I decided to put it to good use! I feel like I helped take a step towards the manifestation of future events-  I got a new student ID card for university (I'm planning on starting classes in January, having not been in university for 6 years now), and I got passport photos taken so that I can finally renew my passport (I'd LOVE to travel in the new year). I'm starting to feel more excitment brewing within me over some of the things that I've been feeling nervous about, or feeling fear so much that I haven't bothered to even think about them very often. I was able to spend quility time with my sister as well, and caught up on sleep, and am now relaxing with a glass of wine in the warmth of my cozy apartment.
In this moment, all is well in the world. And, I give thanks.

Namaste

Greetings,
I hope, that if it's cold where you are today, that you are staying safe and warm.

Yesterday, I got to talk to an old friend, though briefly. I met him 6 years ago, a friend of a boyfriend at the time. They lived in a different country but I managed to visit them on 3 seperate occasions. I lost touch with the boyfriend (now an ex, of course), but talked for a bit longer with this new 'friend' of mine. Then, as does happen so frequently, our own lives got busy and we haven't been able to talk very often at all. So, when he was online yesterday, I was so overjoyed! I was overwhelmed with how much I missed him, so much that I couldn't even believe what I was feeling! What a strong reaction! When I thought about it after, I think my emotions were not just towards him, but also that whole time period in my life. We seemed so much younger then, so much free-er, so many less heart aches had been experiences then. We used to sit around, drinking wine and enjoying cake and joking around about life. I miss that time in my life.
Right now I'm so stuck in a rut of looking backwards, and thinking about all of the things that I miss. The snow, and this time of year, has me back into my sorrow over missing my ex, as this was the time of year that we first met. It's hard, because the whole of me knows that what I'm doing to myself is doing me no good- that I should be looking forward, not back, that I should be finding lessons in the past and using that to fuel me into creating a better future for myself. I'm sure that is what is to come- lessons, knowledge, a drive towards a better 'me'. Hopefully I can take the best of the past and put some of that into my future, knowing what makes me happy.

Life is made up of so many endings and beginnings, and they also seem to overlap and intertwine in each other.
Sometimes I wonder, if people come back, does it mean that the lesson hasn't been learn yet? Or does it mean that some of the blocks that kept you apart in the first place have been removed? Hmmm...

Hey,
I just realized the date today is November 1st or 1/11. Are you one of those people who makes a wish when its 11:11? That's what the date made me think of - making wishes...manifesting what we want in our life, thinking about what we wish to happen rather than worrying about what we don't want to happen.

I tend to be one of those people who makes wishes. I haven't written very much in my blog lately because I've been going through a rough road that has made me question my wishes and my fears and anything that I believed to be real. Whenever I go through troubled times in my life, I tend to retreat and hide out. It's partially a need to go within myself, to take a break from some people around me to renew myself in my own, private way. It's also partially because, when I'm here trying to promote love and positivity, it doesn't seem 'right' to radiate myself here, or anywhere, when what I feel inside of me is more negaive than anything else. I feel partially drained of my vitality, my positive life force energy... but I have decided to write on here today because life is about the ups and the downs. Our journey is not always peaceful or joyful for that matter. I suppose that we can't truly appreciate our 'great days' without having experienced days when we are at a lower vibration.

Sometimes its scary to 'wish' or 'hope' when what you've hoped for has resulted in pain but when it comes down to it, if we don't have any faith or hope.. then what gets us up the next morning and keeps us going through the day? There has to be something, even if it is a tiny, stubborn, fleck of 'things have to get better' in the bottom of your heart.

So, right now, I'm hoping on things getting better than they are right now. The seasons are changing, which can hopefully bring in new energy. The Christmas holiday season is upon us so that can bring some magic as well....

I will 'hope' so and wish for the best for us all!
Many blessings,

Pamela.